A Letter I’ll Never Send, by Amari James (aka Marz)

Genre: LOVE

 

Love is an evil, evil thing. When you fall in love, you literally fall. You crash to the ground and every last bone in your body breaks. But you don’t notice because you have this beautiful boy whispering sweet nothings in your ear and giving you butterflies when he kisses your forehead, so nothing else matters. Then he leaves. He leaves, and you feel it. You feel every broken bone as if they’re breaking all over again. Your chest caves in and you find yourself crying hysterically in your car at 4am, desperately gasping for air that doesn’t taste like him, and trying to hold your broken bones together. But his old t-shirts don’t work as a cast; wrapping them around yourself won’t fix the craters in your ribs. Nothing will stop the aching; nothing will fix the hole in your heart that love has dug.

I always thought falling in love was supposed to be like a fairytale. And I swore it would never happen to me, because I had seen what love could do to you; how it could completely destroy a person and leave them to pick up the broken pieces. But one day, you smiled at me, and holy s**t I lost it.

I fell in love with the way you made me feel, kinda like Cinderella. But our happily ever after didn’t last as long as it was supposed to. It’s so hard because when you held me I felt complete. My heart felt whole for the first time in my life. When life was hard on me, you were there to make it better. You were supposed to be my forever and always. Somehow, our forever was cut short.

I try so hard to stay away from you. But like someone addicted to crack or cocaine, I’m always craving you. And just like the drug addicts, I’m addicted to the way you made me feel; like I’m on cloud 9, a permanent high that I never wanted to end. From a young age, my parents warned me about the drugs in the street, but they never mentioned the ones with big brown eyes and a heartbeat that feels like home. Oh God, how I wish they had warned me about you.

 

~Marz

 

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