New mourning, Poetry by Camille Lacadee

GENRE: Mourning, Non-realization, De-realization, Idealization, Love

New mourning
by Camille Lacadee

Of bkk when it came to me

Of sweetness despite your resistance and the salt behind your ear
Of the scar on your little finger what could it be and that weird chicken-skin spot on your back
Of that first morning I woke up to realize we were held in symmetry
Of the moment you were a boy lady
Of the surprise everytime I saw you and that unclear beauty
Of the words I never managed to get out of you
Except once or twice and yet once or twice but hey that’s why you ran away
Of the fear in your eyes and later at night the surrender
Of bashfulness and uncertainties
Of love we never really could have made or could we
And once or twice yet once or twice when I lied

Of countless glances at your building on the other side
Of the inspiration you’re waiting for and will never come
Of the void in your eyes deadly deadly eyes
Of your hair dismal blossom
Of that heaviness

Of what I saw in you and never understood and will be the last to see and that you call your body out of banally chosen ignorance
Of the moist in my hands and how they shook when you’re too near
Of my obsession eyes closed and active now

Of the ridiculous lies you told me just because the truth is too great for you to handle
Of all the time I waste thinking about you
But once or twice yet once or twice when believing for two

Of the way you bit my thumb which you must have copied from somewhere
Of your squeaks and quivers under my fingers tell me how you can live without it now
Of your density your serious muscles

Of the realm I never reached and that they cannot see

Of the way you avoid meeting my eyes and the idiotic faces you make when it’s just too much for you which is not much
Of your refusal to feel for you fear to be hurt
Of the first time I heard about just before seeing and while on the phone with she said about you it’s nothing important
Of the hypocrite world you chose to live in which I wish you’d now mourn but I know it ain’t gonna die anytime soon
Of each of these nights always the last night
And the rest of my lies

(Camille Lacadee, January 2015)

Camille Lacadee
architect / New-Territories / MindMachineMakingMyths
-Co-founder of MindMachineMakingMyths / Institute for contingent scenario / NYC-BKK


-Facebook: camille lacadee &

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