My Father & A Whiskey, Poetry by Shiela Baysa

GENRE: Family, Society

My Father & A Whiskey
by: Shiela Baysa

When my father is drunk,
He says the most honest and most beautiful words to me
He tells me all of his thoughts,
All of his pain
That his sober mouth cannot utter,
That his stern defenses cannot show.
He tells me that of all the girls in the world,
I’m the only one he loves.
My lashes secretly dropped a tear
And I smiled as I never have before.
I looked at him, I was both smiling and howling silently in pain
Because I missed my father so much
But living is just so cruel
That his coming home
Would be a matter of pride
And the irony of unkind ethics-
The biting wits of freedom,
Of loving,
Of being capable to feel a love so immense,
But having a cost as vast as it.
When he felt alone, he followed his heart and loved
For solitude begins to consume him.
Now when he left his wife,
Who was an objectivity as a woman in marriage,
I’ve never seen my father more peaceful as a man
But I’ve not seen him for days and months
For he knew what he has done
And it was a right thing to do around the heartless customs.
I recall when I cried feebly under my blanket,
Faced the wall and have not looked him in the eye
The five a.m. at July when he packed his things and went away,
At the dawn when my home no longer was one.
Since that night,
I’ve always asked what’s wrong with loving a woman who isn’t your wife
Because I have always forgiven my father
For following his heart,
For making me realize that love is absolute.
And if you choose it not to be,
Love can be a matter of an instant,
But not of time.
Now he has drunk an Old Forester bourbon,
And he tells me,
“Of all the girls in the world,
You’re the only one I love
Because you understand me.”
And I could not have asked for more
Knowing he’s free,
And knowing
I have been more of a daughter
Than I’ll be as a person.

    * * * * *

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