Winning SHORT Screenplay – THE RECEIPT, by Hazel Allan

Watch the October 2017 Winning Short Screenplay.

Genre: Drama, Crime

A coffee shop customer allows his ignorance to get the better of him.

CAST LIST:

Narrator: Carina Cojeen
Esme: Lindsay Gerro
Zak: Nick Baillie
Man: Dennis Barham
Police: Fabio Abreu

Get to know the writer: 

What is your screenplay about?

It’s the story of Zak, a coffee shop customer who allows his ignorance to get the better of him.

What genres does your screenplay fall under?

Drama/tragedy.

Why should this screenplay be made into a movie?

Many years ago I witnessed a waitress having her hair pulled by a huge bully of a man. I chose to turn a blind eye and that decision has haunted me ever since. I want her to know I’m sorry and that I still think about her.

How would you describe this script in two words?

Harrowing. Chilling.

What movie have you seen the most times in your life?

‘Barefoot in the Park’. It’s my “go to movie” whenever I need cheering up.

How long have you been working on this screenplay?

I scribbled the original at the breakfast table one morning and typed it up later that day. The re-write took about two days to get to a point where I was happy with it.

How many stories have you written?

Hundreds, possibly even thousands, since I was a little girl. I now have three published children’s novels and approximately twenty screenplays of varying lengths.

What is your favorite song? (Or, what song have you listened to the
most times in your life?)

‘Let’s Go Crazy’ by Prince. I love the lyrics. And what about that guitar solo! He’s my musical hero.

What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

The ending was the most difficult part to write. I have a tendency to write in shorter time than what appears on the screen. I desperately wanted to get across Zak’s desolation and regret but found this a challenge within the constraints of such a short piece.

Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

My family, books, animals, food, politics, music, coffee. Not necessarily in that order!

What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings
on the initial feedback you received?

I wanted to try my hand at writing something short and snappy. I tend to get carried away and write too much so this felt like the ideal opportunity to practise a spot of self editing. I was most impressed with the initial feedback and found the comments very thorough, encouraging and constructive. I took on board the recommendations and felt they really helped me to reflect and develop my story and my style of writing.

You entered your screenplay via FilmFreeway. What has been your
experiences working with the submission platform site?

My experience of Film Freeway has been a really positive one. I now look forward to their emails which have some great advice about festivals and competitions. At one point during the process of entering this competition I posted the wrong submission (duh!) and Film Freeway was extremely helpful and swift in replying to my call for help and sorting out my refund. Highly recommended.

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Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Director: Kierston Drier
Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne
Editor: John Johnson

Camera Operator: Mary Cox

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Winning Under 5min. Short Screenplay – ONE STOP SHOT, by Hazel Allan

Genre: Drama, Romance

James’s world is pretty dull and mundane, varying shades of gray – until his eyes meet Kerry’s on the train. He finally works up enough courage to talk to her, but is left devastated when she appears to ignore him. Dejected, he doesn’t acknowledge her on their next commute, which confuses her. Kerry later tells her friend that she thought he was ‘The One’ but she must’ve mis-read the signs – the twist being that she tells her friend this in sign language.

CAST LIST:

Narrator: Julian Ford
James: Steve Rizzo
Friend: Rachel Salsberg
Kerry: Emily Weir

 Get to know the writer:

What is your screenplay about?

It’s a light-hearted romantic comedy about love at first sight and the disappointment that too often accompanies this.

What genres does your screenplay fall under?

Romance.

Why should this screenplay be made into a movie?

Because it’s simple and endearing! The message that love might strike at any time offers hope and light in a world that is too often bleak. I think the characters would transfer well from paper onto screen. James is awkward and likeable, a hopeless romantic – and we can all relate to that just a little. Can’t we?

How would you describe this script in two words?

Charming yet frustrating!

What movie have you seen the most times in your life?

‘When Harry Met Sally’. It’s sheer perfection.

How long have you been working on this screenplay?

It didn’t take long. The characters came to me fully formed and were so endearing and straightforward that the story flowed. If there’s one thing I would change I’d like to add more hope to the ending. Perhaps James could see Kerry and her friend talking in sign language and the penny would drop?

How many stories have you written?

Too many to count but some of these have never seen the light of day. My main writing achievements are my three published children’s novels (The Bree McCready series), a six part family drama series which I am currently working on, and the two shorts I have had accepted by Wild Sound Festival.

What is your favorite song? (Or, what song have you listened to the most times in your life?)

“Little Green” by Joni Mitchell. It never fails to make me cry.

What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

Making the scene where James talks to Kerry for the first time feel authentic was a challenge. I mean why did he not simply tap her on the shoulder? But that would have been a dangerous move, as the miscommunication would too easily have been discovered. I had to keep everything brief due to the limited length of the piece.

Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

Being a mum. Raising my son alone has been a challenging yet immensely rewarding journey. He is my inspiration.

What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?

I’m used to writing longer pieces with complex plot twists and turns. I wanted to try something short and snappy as I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to practise self editing. It was more difficult than I had anticipated! The initial feedback on ‘One Stop Shot’ was both thorough and constructive. I couldn’t believe it when I saw the word ‘winner’! The suggestions really helped me to reflect on my idea and think about how best to strengthen the story.

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Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Director: Kierston Drier
Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne
Editor: John Johnson

Camera Operator: Mary Cox